10 Grown-Up Stepchildren Teach Us How to Build Healthy Stepfamilies
We’ve heard from the parents and stepparents. We’ve heard from the child psychologists and family counselors. Now let the children speak.
Here are the wise words of ten children who grew up in stepfamilies. They are young enough to remember the experience well and old enough to have learned from it. They not only offer their poignant stories, but they add advice specifically marked for parents, stepparents, and even stepchildren. They come from different races, economic levels and from various parts of the country, but all of their stories reverberate with truth and a desire to help others.
The author, a parent and stepparent herself, knew the right questions to ask and knew how to help them translate their sometimes painful experience into lessons from which all of us can learn.
Read more…Stepchildren Speak: 10 Grown-Up Stepchildren Teach Us How to Build Healthy Stepfamilies
How to Be a Good Step Dad
# Treat them like they’re your own. No child likes to be disrespected! Let alone a stepchild. They may act like you’re unwelcome, but that may be because they assume you think that you are their ‘replacement Dad’. Ignore the discouragement, and just treat them like your own kids.
# Go easy on the discipline. They’ll hate you for sure if you constantly nag, nag, nag about their grades, or nag, nag, nag about uncompleted chores. In their minds, no matter how awesome you are, they aren’t yours. It’s your job to teach them otherwise. They’ll never appreciate you if you mother them.
# Do amazing things. You have to think about them. They are your precious angels. When you’re out at the store, call their mother and ask if she or the kid(s) need anything. Anything at all. Or, better yet, want anything. If you can’t find what they want, call again and ask for a cheaper/more commonly found replacement. (WARNING: Guessing the replacement is an absolute no-no! What if you buy the cheapest of cheap brands and end up wasting your money?)
