Surviving the First 90 Days in a Blended Family
Filed under: Blended Family, Stepfamily, Stepfamily Australia, stepfamilies in australia
Remind everyone, at least daily, that there is no less love in a blended family. Everyone who was a valued family member before the “merge” is still a valued family member. Each loved member of the family is still loved. A blended family provides the opportunity for more love. There are now more people involved, since the marriage, who care about each other and will grow together as a family.
Strange feelings are O.K.
The kids did not pick your new spouse. You love your new partner, but the kids will need some time getting to know this person. It’s O.K. if they have some strange feelings, even confusing thoughts- wondering if they are going to like this new person. Let them take their time and get to know your spouse. Remind them to be respectful and friendly, and then give them some space.
No Competitions
A new stepparent does not replace anyone in the family. The children still have their biological parents, with the addition of a new stepparent. This stepparent is to be respected, as an adult, but does not take the place of either of the biological parents. There are no competitions. Children sometimes feel that the new stepparent in the blended family is a new enemy- a competitor for them. The new stepparent may feel the same way about the kids- that these step kids are someone who takes time away from their new spouse. Tell everyone that there are no competitions and no threats. Relax and get to know each other.
Read more…Surviving the First 90 Days in a Blended Family – Stepfamily Australia
Feeling Trapped By Stepchildren
I need help. I’m married. I have 4 step-kids. I dislike two of them.
One of them (he is 5) tried to choke my 2-year-old. I have to pick them up every other weekend by order of the court (their Dad doesn’t have a license) and then I hide or leave the house as much as possible.
I love my kids and the other two step-kids. I just don’t get why I feel this way.
I also feel trapped. I feel 50 and I’m 25. I want to feel young again.
But I don’t have the money for a sitter and my Mom can’t help because she has had two major heart attacks, and right now she has a broken arm.
My husband’s Mom is a drunk so I won’t leave my kids with her. How can I feel young again and still have my kids with me? Please help.
Read more…Feeling Trapped By Stepchildren – Motherlode Blog – NYTimes.com
Blend a New Baby With an Older Step Child
Filed under: Blended Family, Stepchildren, Stepfamily
For a child who is used to getting all the attention, a new sibling can seem like competition. The older child may feel left out and pressured to grow up, which can create short-term and long-term problems for both siblings and parents.
As a parent, it might be challenging to give both children the amount and the type of attention they need. However, there are several ways to make all of your children feel valued.
Read more…Blend a New Baby With an Older Step Child – Wheretofindpedia
