Tips to be a better parent to your teenager

• If your teen is in middle school, just give it some time, and
  try to develop a strong relationship with your teen. Strong
  relationship = good communication = s/he will talk to you more about
  things that s/he would not tell you otherwise.
• If your teen does something wrong, just give us a small
  lecture and move on. Most of the time s/he knows s/he is wrong, but it
  takes some time to admit it. There is no sense of going on and on about
  what your teen did wrong – it’ll only flare up into an argument.
• Have some time for your teen.
• You might think your teen doesn’t know what “real” life is
  like, but the teen years are when a child discovers it for him/herself
  and it’s never easy.
• Remember: family first. If your teen is in a troubling
  situation, drop everything you are doing and go help. Teens like to
  know they have someone who cares.
• You are not infallible. Stop thinking you are. You may
  usually be right, but you are not ALWAYS right. Your teen is not
  completely ignorant.
• Also, parental hypocrisy (“Do as I say, not as I do”) will provoke disrespect.
• Saying things like “Because I said so!” will make your teen
  very angry or frustrated. Always give a reason for your actions, even
  if you feel you shouldn’t be explaining it. Giving a reason for your
  actions will generally lead to a more harmonious environment for your
  teenager, and will give your teen more “real-life” experience.
• Telling your teen to move out and get a job because of
  _______ is illogical as they cannot legally get a well-paying job along
  with housing.
• Unless you want murder charges, do not say “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

Read more…Be a Better Parent to a Teen – Tips and Steps

Beyond the Brady Bunch: Hope and Help for Blended Families

A message of hope for blended families, from a couple who have been in the trenches – and made it.

Blending a family is far more messy and complicated than any television show portrays. Beyond the Brady Bunch is a heart book, not a how-to book. Christians who find themselves in the midst of step-family life often feel hopeless and far from God, struggling with grief and unforgiveness. From personal experience the authors have found that all the how-to steps in the world don’t work if there isn’t first a heart change. Speaking with honesty and vulnerability they share their own mistakes and how God dealt with their hearts. The book will help stretch hearts, minds and homes past the image of “perfect” and another “happily ever after” into the hope of God’s promise to restore, heal and rebuild.

Read more…Beyond the Brady Bunch: Hope and Help for Blended Families

When Siblings Are Rivals

Don and Karen Jones expected the children in their blended family to giggle and whisper back and forth in their bunk beds, just like the kids on the Brady Bunch used to do-but it was quickly apparent that things at their house were anything but Brady. Mrs. Jones’ twelve and fifteen year old daughters teemed with daily resentment. Mr. Jones’ six year old girl always felt left out. The children argued constantly. One afternoon when the older girls were in the yard, kicking a soccer ball, their younger step-sister felt jealous. After a few taunts and hair pulls, the argument escalated, and the teens locked their step sister in a closet.

Mrs. Jones knew that her step-daughter had provoked the others: “I don’t usually jump in, but once it gets physical, I feel like it’s important to intervene,” she notes. So, she freed her step daughter, and called all three girls into the living room: “You don’t have to love each other, but you do need to show common courtesy. Hair-pulling and locking each other in a closet are out,” she recalls telling them.

Read more…When Siblings Are Rivals – Part 11: Step-families | Psychology Today